The Mystery of the Muffin

This is a short story by Michelle Miller from the collection The Great Muffin Stories.

Hi, I’m Kyle Miller, and I like pi. In fact, I’m taking 82 steps to my car right now to go get some at subway!

I drove down my driveway, took a right on Knollwood, and then took a right onto Cumberland. I drove down Cumberland and then took another right onto Anderson Lakes Parkway, followed that until the 4-way intersection, and then took a left into Subway.

I walked in, ordered a 6" Italian sub, ham, turkey, American & cheddar cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes.

I went to pay for it at the register, and when the cashier handed me my bag, it was strangly lumpy. I paid my $3.32, I went and sat down.

I pulled my sandwich out of my bag, and instead, I pulled out a muffin! I curiously looked at it for a minute or two. It was like a little pillow of goodness with little chocolate chips & blueberries. I snapped out of my day dream, and walked back up to the cashier.

“Excuse me,” I said, “sir, there was no sandwich in my bag, there was a muffin!”

“I’m sorry,” the cashier said, “no refunds.” I left the store, and left the muffin on the table.

When I walked out to my car, on the dashboard lay a chocolate-chip blueberry muffin. I shrugged because I knew I was just seeing things. But, I was curious, was the muffin there, or was it just a hallucination? I reached my hand out to touch it. It was definitely there. I was turning onto Anderson Lakes, still looking at the muffin. All of a sudden, a car hit me. I died. When the police came, they saw the muffin. The police officer stared at it with thought, wondering why it was here. He brough it to one of the investigators, just in case it was evidence.

“Here you go,” the officer said, “this may be evidence.”

“Ooohhh!” the investigator said, “a muffin!” The investigator ate it in 3 bites, smacking his lips.

The end!